6/24/2014

Fatherless Pt. 3

Written by: Maricela Martinez
The word “fatherless” brings to mind a very dark season in my life. As a little girl you grow up watching fairytale movies and seeing how the male figure protects, loves, embraces and cherishes their little princess. In my case, my childhood wasn't a fairy tale and my father didn’t love, embrace or show any type of emotion towards me. As I grew, so did my resentment towards my dad. I didn't understand why he couldn’t tell me he “loved me.” I envied my friends that had a dad that showed affection towards them. Honestly, I also even envied the ones that didn’t have a dad. Why? I felt fatherless having my dad across the table from me. I couldn't understand how a parent could be incapable of sharing a simple smile, word of encouragement, but most of all, a simple “I love you!”
As a young lady, I searched for love in the wrong places, and even when I was told an “I love you,” I couldn't accept it. I was incapable of accepting love by others because in my mind and heart I couldn't understand how a stranger could love me and not the man that gave life to me. Consequently, this led me to enter a deep depression and developed an eating disorder.
However, my life took a turn for the better. On a Wednesday evening, a little over eleven years ago, I stepped into an Apostolic church not expecting much. But as soon as I entered those doors I felt at home. All those times I ran away and bottled up my emotions finally came to an end when my Heavenly Father embraced me for the first time. All the protection, love, encouragement, and those three words that I had been yearning to hear from my biological father, my Heavenly Father told me in minutes. Opening and reading His word is what brings comfort to my heart. Christ makes me feel secured, but most of all, His unconditional love fills my empty heart. His embrace is warm, tender, indescribable and incomparable.

No comments:

Post a Comment